I had never so much as dated before I was 30 years old. Now I'm 45 with a awesome wife (also an INTJ), and 3 children. As far as I can tell all I meaningfully lost out on in just skipping the dating scene in my teens and 20s was a bunch of pointless angsty drama from children too excited with sex and romance to remember that these are activities that only matter because they have a purpose. That purpose is not just to have and raise kids, although practically speaking that is typically a major expression of the purpose. Rather the purpose that underpins the significance that we attribute to sex and romance is the imperative to live your life in accordance with your values. This is not just some wishy-washy ethical panacea. At the trivial level this is expressed by simple things like valuing useful things over worthless ones. Likewise, if the machine that is your values is functioning properly, you will value qualities of person such as Honesty, Compassion, Intelligence, Humor, Knowledge, Thoughtfulness, etc. that improve your survival odds by being associated with them, and the odds of your societies survival.
One of the most concrete ways in which your values find expression in this world is the set of properties that you love in another and thus cause you to desire them as a life-partner. That is REAL romance, and it can exist between two people regardless of whether sex, children, or marriage is ever on the table or not. That you are only interested in a long term partner demonstrates sn implicit instinctive understanding of this.Īll of my relationships started casually. My past two relationships helped me greatly in getting to know myself better in regards to romantic relationship, especially my needs for relationships. I think I wouldn't know a few key things I need in a relationship without those past two relationships. Now that I know what I need and want, I think of relationships in the long run. Back then, I thought of them as a nice experience to learn and grow and see what happens. My current, third partner was a friend before we started dating. I would only date people I'm already friends with nowadays. I don't agree with needing to be able to imagine the far future from the start. In my opinion, you only experience certain behaviors and inner workings of the other person after you've started the relationship and been emotionally close for a while, also the dynamics of the relationship only reveal themselves after some time. But as of now, I would break off the relationship if I wouldn't see longtime potential after a while.This qualitative study showed that limited rationality plays a vital role in the lives of women on the verge of divorce. However, learning skills, such as deep thinking and realistic thinking, can help women overcome limitations toward rationality and lack of marital issues understanding. Marital Life Marital Issues Qualitative Study Rationality 1. Marital life is a scene in which rationality and emotion come together. The human intellect is under the significant influence of emotions, and emotions themselves are formed based on reasoning.
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